You May Not Look Like Much, But You're Pro At Believing That You're The Best

As most people who know me know, I play poker. Am I good? Not really, i'm at best average, and that's probably a stretch anyways. There are however, some absolute PROS that play poker in our region. You probably have them wherever you play too. Yep, people who think and act so superior to everyone else not just at the table, but at the venue, that it's a shock they are playing in some small little free pub game. Maybe they are doing it to show us lesser players, us mere poker mortals, just how great they are. It's strange to me because if I was ever as good as these pillars of the game, I probably would be on the pro circuit. But no, these heroes come along to the free poker events in pubs and clubs, possibly because they want to shun the spotlight and prefer their menial jobs over that of jetting arounbd the world playing poker, or possibly because they want the rest of us to for once be able to rub shoulders with greatness (albeit every week). I have found that there are 2 types of these pros, the first is...


THE KNOWS IT ALL PRO.
These people are kind enough to shower us with their immense poker knowledge before the game, as well as during the game and after the game...or on the turbo/losers table. They are amazing at reading what cards EVERY SINGLE PLAYER HAS, and will turn to each other and say things such as 'I knew he had pocket 7s' or 'Oh you overplayed that hand, you could have got more out of me' or perhaps they will sit there and critique your play and boast about how they knew what you had, they would have done this, blah blah blah, especially after they've lost a hand to you. The know all the terminology (eg. 'I knew pre-flop that I was sitting on the nuts, he was on tilt and trying to bluff my bullets with his cowboys, he totally overplayed it') and recall everyhand they play and why they would have won if they didn't. It's great that we have such knowledgeable, and let's face it, brilliant people around to tell all us players beneath them what they know, which appears to be everything.

The second type is

THE 'I LOOK LIKE I AM A REAL PROS' PRO' PRO
These people normally sit with their head down, hat pulled down over their eyes (usually not hair, because they are receding) play with their chips constantly, REFUSE to smile or even speak and use extravagent hand gestures whether calling, folding, scrathing themselves or whatever. And these players can be just as smug as type one people. If they beat you in a hand, you usually get a contemptious 'how dare you even consider playing against me' look, and if by some fluke you beat these superstars, they let out a contemptious snort. Of course, they lost the hand, you didn't win it. They are so absorbed i themselves at the table they fail to realise that they look like complete tools, and there's a good reason why these people are single.

My question, if these players are so good, why didn't I see them on tv at the World Series Of Poker? I had two type 1 players and type 2 player on my table tonight. Why were they playing in a club dining room, not in Vegas? Or even Crown? How come their work clothes don't have Full Tilt or Poker Stars logos on them? Perhaps I shouldn't be complaining, I mean I should be privledged to be in the same room as them. But funnily, at the end of the day, myself and most people I know end up thinking the same thing about them...

fucking wankers.